Archive for the 'Movies' Category



18
Aug
07

Jurassic Park IV – Dumb and Dumbersaurus

There’s a story running on Bloody Disgusting currently that actually blew my mind, entirely. It’s a report which suggests, get ready for this, that the plot of the next Jurassic Park (IV) will be ‘about the government who has trained dinosaurs to carry weapons and use them for battle purposes.’ Oh, that’s…err…incredible.
If this is true, and a dark side of my personality wants it to be because they don’t make make big budget movies based on such god awful ideas often, then I wish I’d been a fly on the wall when some script guru pitched this to Spielberg and Co…and they went ‘That’s a cool idea…give the Dino’s big guns!’
I’m sorry, either this isn’t the real idea, or those green-lighting this project where dipped in psycho-reactive slime!

But it has inspired me to think up the Ten worst ideas for a franchise sequel.

10. The Bourne mediocrity – Jason Bourne discovers the best way to remain hidden is to master the art of being average, but makes too good a job of it.
9. The Fantastic 4: Baby Boom – The Fantastic 4 become parents, spawning super-powered kids with hilarious consequences. Stan Lee cameos as their paediatrician.
8. Legal Weapon 23: back in a diapers – Yes, they really are too old for this shit
7. Terminator 4: Total Recall – Our heroes must travel into the distant future, create a manufacturing fault in the Skynet factory, and get all the Terminators warranty recalled!
6. Bewitched: Witch and Bewitched – Exactly the same plot as the original, but with someone different playing Darren.
5. Ace-less Ventura – An Ace Ventura Movie without the named character or Jim Carrey(oops..sorry they’re doing that one!)
4. Out for a Quarter Past Under Siege – Seagal…need I say more?
3. Unnamed Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez project
2. Ghostbusters: the Musical
1. Jason vs. Pee Wee Herman – Pee Wee dresses up as a notorious serial killer, with hilarious consequences.

17
Aug
07

The Bourne Ultimatum Reviewed

Bourne UltimatumGosh, I’m still in a little shock. This summer’s blockbusters, or the ones I’ve seen, have all very much followed a pattern, of being mildly entertaining while not actually delivering on their promise. It’s not like that’s amazing, but the contrast is dramatically enhanced when one comes along that does, and do so in such an in-your-face way. The Bourne Ultimatum delivers on some many levels that it shouldn’t be compared with the Hollywood vehicles it’s competing or even the films that preceded it.
Interestingly, Paul Greengrass directed Bourne Supremac, which I enjoyed but isn’t remotely like this one. Yes it has many of the same characters, but Greengrass has unleashed some sort of directing demon with himself here. For starters he’s had the audacity to make the entire film, for it’s 111minute running time, a chase. Like Jason Bourne, the chase is unforgiving, unrelenting and utterly gripping. From the previous outings we’ve had hints at know how good Bourne is, but in this one we get to see him at his most clinical, tactical and incisive. In many ways it was entirely reminiscent of Ian Flemming’s conceptual James Bond; a person at the peak of mental and physical fitness, able to use the clarity of thought and purpose to achieve almost super-human tasks. Where the Bond franchise left this aspect begin, in Bourne it’s what grounds the movies in a type of hyper-reality where any person is just a split second away from death or serious injury in his presence.
Bourne’s quest, to discover his real identity, is ironically progressed by the same forces that so wish to keep this secret. The more they try to take him down, and the people around him, the more they propel him onwards. I’m not going to spoil the plot for you, and where it ultimately takes us, and him. But the end of a film completes a perfect circle that started with Jason Bourne falling shot from Wombosi’s boat at the start of Bourne Identity.
But along the way we’re blessed with some set sequences of breaktaking action, tension and drama. The reality as presented of a fluid battlefield of intelligence may be nothing like the real thing, but it seems frighteningly real. ‘Assets’ are called into use, positioned chess like, and then ‘activated’. We get to see through Bourne’s eyes the threats around us, and how best to deal with them. Each door or window is a possible escape route, object a projectile, vehicle a means of pursuit or lethal weapon. The movie takes us inside the Jason Bourne mindset and manacle’s us their for the entire running time.
And, in the end I was left desperately wanting more, which is exactly the way it should be. After this episode I can see the studio’s not wanting to let this franchise die, but they’ve now used up the Ludlum source material and entire motivation for Bourne to go on. Their are two other Bourne books by another writer, but the danger is that they’ll carry on until they mess it up. I’d rather they stopped now, while they’re significantly ahead, than produce another inferior chapter.
If you only get to see one movie this year, make it The Bourne Ultimatum.

14
Aug
07

Geeking out on Iron Man

Iron ManThis is possibly the last big Marvel character franchise that hasn’t made it to the big screen, but I’m getting all geek about this project already. Yes, I know, I’m going to have to chill because the movie is a 2008 release. But images like the one they’ve just posted on Comingsoon.net aren’t helping. The casting of Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark is great, and dovetales perfectly with the persona, as does Sam Jackson as Nick Fury. So until they are proven to have made an entire mess of the execution here, I’m remaining positive. Actually with Jon Favreau at the helm I’m more than optimistic, as I loved both Elf and Zathura which he also directed.
I presume we’ll get a teaser/trailer before Christmas, to feed my addiction.

07
Aug
07

Bourne…again!

Those nice people at ASUS have invited me to see a pre-screening of The Bourne Ultimatum on the 16th in London!
I’m really excited to see this movie. Possibly more than the other sequels we’ve suffered this summer. The only decision I’ve got to make is should I post my review on here or Den of Geek, or both? I think that will depend on how I feel about it, as if it sucks I’ll probably take longer to write it, where if I’m gushing I’ll want to talk about it first thing on the 17th.

25
Jul
07

Leaky TV

As I’ve been writing about TV shows on here, and Den of Geek. In general I’ve been talking about those that are actually on TV, and people are watching. But at Den we’ve been inundated with reviews of TV shows that aren’t actually on the TV, and have been leaked onto the Internet.

In the last weeks we’ve seen these appear online, all of which are months away from their official first screenings.

The Sarah Connor Chronicles PILOT
Pushing Daisies PILOT
Californication PILOT
Weeds S03E01, S03E02.
Dexter S02E01, .S02E02
Brotherhood.S02E01, S02E02

If this had been one or two odd episodes leaked by someone in the production I’d understand. But the numbers of shows that this is happening with does make me think something else is going on here. While I can’t imagine any of these production companies would admit leaking their work, I suspect that some of these releases are marketing led exercises, aimed at hyping the show ahead of it’s run. If I’m wrong then almost every major US TV show seems to have it’s own resident pirate, ready to get their shows out to the downloading public as soon as they can!
Anyone out there got any first hand experience of what’s actually happening here?

22
Jul
07

Den of Geek is here!

This is a new online publication I contribute to, please have a look!

Den of Geek

19
Jul
07

Harry Potter R.I.P.

No, that’s not a prediction or a spoiler, but a comment on the end of an era. I’ve never read any of the books, although I’ve enjoyed the films, and yet I can’t help feeling a little sad that it’s all coming to an end. Except we’ve now got a long drawn out good-bye while the last two movies are made, which could take two or three years.

If I did know the ending I wouldn’t put it here anyway…because JK would be round to give me a swift Glasgow kiss…I reckon.

Harry’s final Potter

18
Jul
07

Dexter has Escaped!!!!

I’m not sure what to think about this. But some ‘crazy’ person inside Showtime has released a copy of the new Dexter season 2 opener episode, the whole thing, onto the internet. The official start point is months away, September, so this is either a very pre-emptive promotional strike or someone in that organisation is going to get a kicking.

Has anyone seen it yet? Is it any good?

I loved the first Season.

UPDATE: Some Dexter season 2 details here!!!

Dexter

15
Jul
07

Actor Cloning – Trek Alikes

Gary Sinise has been mentioned to play a young ‘Bones’ in the next Star Trek movie, here is a picture that helps explain why this might be such a strong rumour.

Trek-alikes

13
Jul
07

Den of Geek – Star Trek XI casting

Trek XI
I’m wibbling about casting of the next Star Trek movie at Den of Geekhere

09
Jul
07

Cloverfield…well wierd

If you’ve not heard about the new J.J. Abrams movie which has a working title of Cloverfield, but is as yet unnamed then here’s your chance to be confused…along with those that have heard about it.

The High Def trailer, shown ahead of Transformers is here 

What is going on here????

09
Jul
07

Bullitt!!!! No please…not this!

It’s been circulating that a remake of Bullitt staring Brad Pitt has been ‘greenlit’.
Someone stop these people. It’s bad enough that half the films released this summer are either sequels or remakes with them raping another classic. I’ll admit Pitt was in Ocean’s 11, which was a reasonable film of a dismal original. But Bullitt is total class from beginning to end. And I don’t think Brad could really drive a car like McQueen if his life depended on it.

The real McQueen

07
Jul
07

Nicolas Cage Ready Reckoner!

Not many people agree with my assessment of Mr. Cage’s filmography, but I”m unrepentant…
on Den of Geek.

Ghost Rider
07
Jul
07

The Riddle of Steel

The Govenor of California, on his day off.

Do you like Conan? My thoughts on the seminal movie….here




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